Please, Make Yourself Uncomfortable

Posted April 29, 2018 by

It’s more comfortable to stay quiet.
It’s more comfortable to keep the peace.
It’s more comfortable not to question.
Until it’s no longer comfortable, and then it can become rather painful.

The pain I’m talking about is the life crisis that can come at 18, 25, 30, 40 or later. The root is often a search for meaning—an attempt to understand who we are, what we want, and why we want it.

Questioning our why in a moment of crisis is like opening Pandora’s box. A lot of things come flying at us and they’re difficult to sort through. There’s a tendency to focus on the negative—the things we don’t like about ourselves or don’t want to acknowledge and hope for a quick fix. At the same time, one small piece of insight can lead to a great revelation and a pathway to a new beginning if we follow a process of further investigation. Either way, our lives have the ability to become disrupted and the discomforting aspects of personal change can derail us at any time. The best news is that we have the power to get back on track.

What if we took a different approach and became life explorers instead of crisis managers? It would mean having a plan for regularly checking in on ourselves and staying on top of what keeps us at our best. And it might look something like this:

1. Know the right questions to ask—things like:

  • Who do I believe I am?
  • Why do I think this?
  • What is my situation (e.g. in relationships, at work) and how does it make me feel?
  • Am I running from anything?
  • What should I be moving closer to?

2. Create the space to answer your questions.

  • You can find understanding through journaling, reading, meditation or simply sitting still. Consider asking these questions regularly so you can process the answers in the moment and over time versus all at once. Remember that the lessons and challenges come from what you’re experiencing in your life.

3. Get to know what motivates you.

  • Motivations are at the core of our why. Are you driven by a sense of personal freedom or a need to belong? Do you like coming up with the big ideas, or are you more fulfilled by making the big ideas happen? Take me for example, who is motivated by personal freedom. This doesn’t mean freedom from responsibility, it is finding where I can use my creativity in my work, play and relationships. If my creativity is muted I become unhappy. Knowing these things can help you figure out where you’ll be most satisfied in life, love and work. The Inside8 test identifies motivations and how they impact behavior and personal relationships.

The thing about comfort is that it’s not always the best for us. It can stunt our personal growth and lull us into accepting what “is” rather than what “can be.” It has a sneaky way of catching up to us and can lead to a day of reckoning: Did I do all I could do with my life? That day needn’t come if you take the time along the way to understand yourself, disrupt places of stagnation, and have a plan for managing the struggles that come with change.

Mar S - Yoga With Mar

Mar (Maria Soraparu) is the founder of Yoga With Mar - a Chicago-based lifestyle, coaching and yoga brand. She works with individuals across the United States through her Empowerment Coaching program, which follows a three step approach to life: Mindset Mastery, Habit Formation and Thoughtful Action. Mar is a sought-after RYT 200 Yoga Alliance certified yoga instructor at top-rated studios and works with an array of private and corporate clients. Mar strives to reinvigorate and heighten the energy of her clients by enriching the mind and body to make space for growth and clarity. She is a student of life and is constantly learning, growing and exploring her craft. Mar is a University of California, Los Angeles graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. Keep up with Mar on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yogawithmar - @YOGAWITHMAR or www.yogawithmar.com

All stories by: Mar S - Yoga With Mar

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