Quarantined! How To Find Harmony At Home

Posted March 28, 2020 by

Want to get something good from your coronavirus quarantine? First, learn something new about yourself and the people you’re with. Then, use that insight to get along better with those people now, and plan for a more fulfilling life overall when the quarantine is over. Inside8® can help by providing two things:

  1. The Inside8® test, which takes about 10 minutes to complete and identifies your most important wants and needs, also known as your intrinsic motivations.
  2. A discussion guide (provided below) for you and your quarantine mates so you can put the test results to a pair of immediate and practical uses: cope better with the current situation and think about positive changes you can make in life going forward.

We know things are difficult and there’s a lot of uncertainty about the future, so we’re discounting the cost of the test by 50% and providing the discussion guide for free. When you take the test, simply use this promo code: Quarantine50.

The Real Stuff Of Life
Most personality tests do the ordinary by identifying your “what”—the readily observable characteristics and traits you most frequently exhibit. It’s stuff you probably already know, like you’re an “introvert” or an “extrovert.”

The Inside8® test is different because it tells you your “why”—what really drives your behavior and decision-making. When you know “why” you can change things, primarily by tuning your life to what’s most fulfilling to you. It’s the real stuff of life.

Here’s What To Do
Make better use of your quarantine time by structuring an Inside8® self-discovery experience with these steps:

Step 1: Go to “take the test” on the Inside8® website. Once you’ve completed the upfront information, you’ll be taken to the 22-question test, which requires about 10 minutes to complete. You can print your report for easy reference to compare with the discussion guide. When you’re prompted to put in a coupon/discount code, use Quarantine50. This reduces the test cost by half, to $12.50. This code will be valid until May 31, 2020.

Step 2: Use the two-part discussion guide provided below. The first part helps you apply the test results to yourself. It’s better to know your own motivations before talking with others about them. Also, knowing your own motivations will help you understand others when they describe theirs. The second part helps facilitate a discussion with two or more people. The insight is rich, but our report is brief and gets right to the point. The report has five sections and the discussion guide mirrors the report format so you can talk about each section, and then facilitate a wrap-up of what it all means.

Step 3: Mull it over. Maybe do one section at a time. Take some time to think about your results and how they apply to you and the important people in your life. Reflect. Make plans. And have fun with it! Here goes:

INSIDE8® PERSONALITY TEST DISCUSSION GUIDE

PART 1: REVIEWING YOUR INSIDE8® REPORT

Section 1: Primal Group
Human personalities tend to fit into eight distinct groups, which we call the Inside8®. Each group has a descriptive name to give people a snapshot of what makes it unique. For this discussion guide, we will use the example of the Primal Originators®. Members of this group tend to value personal freedom. Also, they are often creative, caring and forward-thinking.

Suggested activities:

  1. After reviewing the group description on page 3, write down what you agree/disagree with. After you’re done, put it aside. We’ll come back to it in a few minutes.
  2. Review each of the 2-4 points (depending on your group) under the heading on page 4 that says, “It’s likely you’re someone who tends to.” Write down specific examples of when you’ve experienced what’s being described on this page. For example, if you’re a Primal Originator®, this page says you “value personal freedom above all else.” Have you made past choices, such as sacrificing a job, a relationship or another important aspect of life, because your freedom was more important? For Originators, this page also says you tend to be “creative and caring.” Write down examples of when one of your innovative ideas has made a difference, or when someone has benefited from your kindness. Do this for each of the insights listed on page 4.
  3. Go back to the agree/disagree list you wrote in #1 above and compare it to your group description. Given the examples you developed in #2, does your group description feel more or less accurate now?

Section 2: Motivations
In this section, we identify your top 4-5 motivations. Numerous studies tell us that fulfilling our motivations is key to happiness, creativity and personal fulfillment. Suggested activities:

  1. Dealing with the quarantine. Review the list of motivations for your Inside8® group. Think about how these motivations are being fulfilled or blocked because you’re quarantined. For example:

If you’re a Primal Originator®, you likely value personal freedom above all else. You may feel that your freedom is compromised by the quarantine. What other motivations can you lean into to keep calm and maintain a sense of balance? Another of your motivations is being “resourceful” and having the capacity to create new things. What creative project can you undertake while in quarantine to make up for your lack of freedom?

  1. Planning for the future. Once you’ve figured out some fulfilling options for getting through the quarantine, think about and make plans for your future. Ask these types of questions:

Job: Does my current job help fulfill my motivations? For example, as an Originator who values personal freedom, does my job provide enough autonomy so that I can be my best? Does my company’s culture value creativity? Is there another career I should consider where I can more fully express my creativity? Or, should I be grateful because I have a job that’s somewhat rote and therefore allows me to be free and create new things while living the other parts of my life?

Friendships: Are my friendships and personal relationships as fulfilling as they could be? As an Originator, I’m a caring and thoughtful person who prefers relationships that endure. When I think about my current relationships, is there balance? Do others value my sense of caring or do I often find myself being taken advantage of? Do my friends understand why I need my space and some “alone time,” but can still enjoy being with them? Where can I meet other people who are fulfilled by being creative and caring? For example, is there a place where I can volunteer my passion for creativity and problem solving?

Love: Have I been successful in love? For example, as an Originator, have I resisted real commitment or intimacy because I didn’t want to compromise my sense of freedom? Now that I know how important freedom is to my well-being, can I find someone who appreciates my creative and caring side, but can sense when I need some space and give it to me? What are my partner’s motivations and how can I reciprocate so they feel fulfilled in our relationship? How do our motivations complement one another?

Section 3: Motivations in Life
This is a straightforward comparative chart of key behaviors that influence your effectiveness in life. Suggested activities:

  1. Dealing with the quarantine. Ask yourself, “If I’m being honest, which behaviors are dominating right now—my ‘best’ or ‘worst?'” List some practical things you can do as part of your daily routine to be at your “best.” Ask, “How can I monitor myself so I don’t lapse into my ‘worst’ behaviors?”
  2. Planning for the future. Spend some time thinking about how different aspects of your life elicit your “best” and “worst” behaviors. Ask yourself these kinds of questions:

Job: As an Originator, I know how to foster collaboration. But at work, have I limited my growth potential by being more of an individual contributor than leader? I also like to plan. Do I know when to recognize a good plan and focus on getting things done, or do I waste time obsessing about details and not accomplishing as much as I can?

Friendships: Originators care about others. But do I care so much that I’m neglecting my own needs or allowing others to take advantage? On the whole, are my friendships balanced?

Love: Some Originators may rely too heavily on their own resourcefulness. Am I open to the influence of a romantic partner and how they can help me be more self-aware, expand my horizons and inspire my best? Or do I act as if I have all the answers?

Section 4: Activities
The Inside8® test results include a list of activities that many people in each group find interesting and engaging. Suggested activities:

  1. Dealing with the quarantine. Review the list of activities for your group, as well as our eBook, “Inside8® At Play.” Write down the indoor activities that help fulfill your motivations, or consider how to adjust an outdoor activity to meet the current situationFor example, some Primal Originators® enjoy participating in dining clubs. Can you set up a virtual dinner party?
  2. Planning for the future. You’re going to have a lot of pent-up energy when this quarantine ends. Plan for the activities that will be most fulfilling once you’re free again. For example, Originators like to plan, so make your activity list and do some online research to get ready to go.

PART 2: FACILITATING A GROUP DISCUSSION

Section 5: Relationships
The Inside8® report lets you click and compare your group to the others in four key areas: overall comparison; how you’re compatible; sources of conflict; and shared interests and activities. This is the insight you’ll need to examine your relationships with others, from friends to loved ones, particularly when they’re motivated differently. Suggested activities:

  1. Review and discuss the section that compares your overall groups. For example, let’s say you’re a Primal Originator® who is in a relationship with a Primal Enterpriser®. Originators are caring and creative people who value personal freedom above all else. Enterprisers tend to be self-assured, highly active and motivated to try new experiences. Ask each other questions that are revealing about the relationship dynamics. For example:

Dealing with the quarantine. Are we both likely to be tense in this situation because one of us values freedom and thinks they have lost it, and the other enjoys being highly active and now feels restricted? How can we adjust to this situation and still feel fulfilled? In comparing our lists of motivations (page 5 of the report), it says we share two in common: we’re both resourceful and we both have a deep sense of personal responsibility. How can we use our resourcefulness to be creative about the time we spend in quarantine? Are there new activities we can try that might provide a sense of freedom? For example, can we reach out to support others during this time of need?

Planning for the future. Compare your lists of motivations. Note how you’re similar and different, and use that information for the next part of the Relationship section.

  1. Review and discuss the sections that list areas of Potential Conflict and Compatibility. Using the example of an Originator and Enterpriser in a relationship, note that you’re a lot alike. You’re both resourceful and have a deep sense of personal responsibility. But you may fight because, while Originators like to plan, they are flexible, and Enterprisers can be more uptight because they can be driven by the need to check things off their to-do list. Ask each other the questions that are revealing about the relationship dynamics. For example:

Dealing with the quarantine. Can you make accommodations for the close quarters? For example, can the Originator take it easy and not over-plan each day? And can the Enterpriser go with the flow more often and put away the task list?

Planning for the future. Talk about past conflicts through the prism of your motivations. Can you think of ways to avoid a similar conflict in the future? As an example, how can you leverage the motivations that you share to find common ground?

  1. Review and discuss your likely Shared Interests. Get out of the quarantine mindset by thinking about the future and fun things you’ll be able to do together. Using our example, Originators and Enterprisers are explorers. Identify your new adventure, put the Originator to work on planning it, and ask the Enterpriser to list out the steps you’ll need to take to make it a reality.

We’ve had experiences where friends, co-workers and couples share the same Inside8® group—and therefore the same motivations. In relationships, this is why you may drive each other nuts and you would benefit from broadening your connections to include people with complementary and conflicting motivations. But beware that you may like to keep things safe and will have to work extra hard to widen your influences.

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER
The most important thing to remember: don’t get lost in the weeds. The Inside8® test provides great insight, but our report doesn’t pretend to represent the sum of who you are. In each section of this discussion guide, we suggest you recall examples that represent different motivations and behaviors in your life—good and bad. These examples are vital. They will show how you typically express your motivations, and they will help you identify new ways to build on those experiences to reach a higher level of fulfillment.

Photo by Yuiizaa September on Unsplash.

Sean M

Sean Murphy is the founder of Inside8®. He has an M.A. in organizational psychology from Columbia University.

All stories by: Sean M

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